More Than Just a Follow

This week reminded me that growth doesn’t always happen in big moments. Sometimes it happens quietly, when you realize you’re capable of more than the role you thought you had.

This week brought a lot of change.

My daily routine looks very different now. I’m spending a lot more time on the road, often driving over an hour each way just to make it to the dance studio. Some people might see that as inconvenient, but to me it feels like an investment. Dance has become such an important part of my life that the drive feels like part of the journey itself.

And this week, that journey surprised me.

For the first time, I tried leading in bachata sensual.

What fascinated me most was realizing that I already understood more about leading than I thought. Several follows—and even a couple leads—told me that my lead felt clear. Hearing that made something click for me.

Without realizing it, I’ve been studying the lead role for a long time.

During trainings and classes, I’ve subconsciously paid attention to what a lead feels like: the tension, the direction of that tension, the shapes being created, and the timing of movements.

Because when you think about it, leading is really just communication without words.

As a lead, you’re trying to tell the follow what to do without saying anything. Every shift in tension, every movement, every adjustment in frame is part of that conversation.

And as a follow, your job is to listen.

That’s why when I’m learning as a follow, I usually avoid focusing too much on specific patterns. Unless it’s choreography, I try not to memorize combinations so that I don’t accidentally back-lead. A follow should be able to close their eyes and respond to whatever the lead communicates.

Because of that mindset, I’ve always prioritized feeling over memorizing.

But now I realize that attention to connection translated into something else entirely: understanding what the lead is trying to say.

One of the biggest things I noticed while leading was how important frame is—not just for the follow, but for the lead too. Frame is the structure that allows both dancers to communicate clearly. Without it, everything becomes confusing.

So now I’ve decided that whenever there’s a shortage of leads in class, I’ll step in and learn the lead role too. It may feel intimidating at first, but growth rarely happens in comfortable spaces.

When I originally started dancing sensual bachata, it was partly because I needed an outlet. As a follow, I didn’t have to think. I could just feel the music and respond.

But lately I’ve realized I want more than that.

Just like in other areas of my life, I don’t want to stay in one box. I don’t want to exist only as a follow. I want to grow as a dancer in every sense of the word—understanding both sides of the conversation happening on the dance floor.

That growth has also meant pushing myself physically.

Recently I started training in heels again. For a long time I’ve mostly danced in sneakers, which are comfortable and practical for long nights of social dancing. But because of that, whenever I put heels back on my balance feels completely different.

So I made a decision: if I want to improve in heels, I need to practice in them consistently.

That means wearing them almost everywhere I reasonably can—trainings, errands, picking up my siblings, meeting friends—anywhere it’s safe to do so.

Sometimes progress looks glamorous.

Other times it looks like wobbling around in heels until your body adapts.

As I’ve become more involved in the dance community, building new friendships and collaborations, I’ve also started noticing another side of things.

When you start growing, people begin to see you differently.

Some celebrate it. Some get curious. And sometimes, people make assumptions about things they don’t fully understand.

I’ve realized that when people see you getting closer to certain dancers, collaborating more, or becoming more visible in the community, it can create misunderstandings.

What they don’t always see is the work happening behind the scenes.

A lot of what I’ve been doing has been focused on supporting the people around me—promoting their events, sharing their businesses, helping however I can—while also continuing to build my own path.

To me, it’s never been about competition.

It’s about collaboration and community.

And the more you grow, the more visible you become. And visibility naturally brings both support and criticism. That’s true in almost any creative space.

But the beautiful thing about dance is that it connects people far beyond one room or one city. I’ve already started building friendships across the country, and as I continue traveling for dance, those connections will only expand.

At the same time, life continues to shift. One of my close friends is moving to another state soon. She’ll still come back for BSO Weekenders and SM Congresses, but it won’t be the same as having her nearby.

Change is always a little bittersweet.

But maybe that’s the theme of this season.

Growth. Expansion. New directions.

Long drives to the studio. Learning new roles on the dance floor. Training in heels again. Navigating community dynamics. Watching friends follow new paths.

All of it reminds me of something important:

Growth rarely looks like staying the same.

And sometimes growth simply means allowing yourself to become more than one thing.

I’m not just a follow anymore.

I’m an artist—in every sense of the word.

— Adri